Redefining an Adulterer: After the storm

First, I am not here to browbeat you with religion or espouse any type of spirituality for you to embrace. I am not here to make you feel bad. You probably already feel as bad as you can. I will make some references to religion and spirituality as it helped me regain some sense of center. Imagine you have a child. This child makes a terrible mistake. Do you reject your child? Do you punish him repeatedly until you feel he has suffered enough or your thirst for justice and revenge is satisfied? No, of course not. You would do whatever you can to help your child. You cannot negate the consequences of his actions but you can help him recover and move forward in life. So it is with God. As a father, he is not sitting in heaven waiting to stomp down on you. Even after you made such a mistake as this. It is hard to believe for some of us. We grew up learning of a mean, spiteful, punishing God. We were taught he was just waiting for you to do wrong and pow! I was raised around chu...

My story... My crash... I will use this plane crash analogy a good bit... I never wanted to be in this situation. No one every says as a child, " I want to grow up, get married, have kids, and get divorced. Yay!" A series of events, some unfortunate, mostly initiated by me led to the crash. Most disasters have a common result; tragedy. Yet, most have tiny little reasons for why they happened. The pilot had one too many the night before. The mechanic didn't tighten the screws enough. The baggage guys overstuffed the plane. A passenger put a lithium battery in their baggage. The security did not scan the bags properly. Etc. Yet, we are here. Crashed. My marriage was having problems. In retrospect, not insurmountable ones but like every couple. We had martial stressors brought on by new jobs, school, new kids, new living circumstances, freshly married, whatever. Like Rumsfeld said, "...there are the unknown unknowns. There are things we do not know we don't kn...

First, welcome and thanks for visiting. You may be wondering what this blog is all about and why I created it. So.. I was an adulterer. I had an affair. I created a sea of wreckage in my wake. This blog tells the story after everything crashed to the ground and my efforts to rebuilt it. This blog is not written in expert prose or elegant speech but the groping of an average man who made a mistake and wants to help those who find themselves at this point. Imagine yourself as a survivor of a plane crash, possible the sole survivor. You washed up on shore of some deserted isle. You vaguely remember moments of the crash but you remember the impact. You remember the terror. But the events around it all are fuzzy as if you dreamed the entire thing. And yet, here you are on the island. You are hurt, hungry, wounded and scared. And in another mental twist, you were one of the pilots so you had some integral part of the disaster. How about the other people on the plane? The kids...